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The Best Of: Volume Two

by Buzz Killjoy

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evil dave
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evil dave absolutely love this album. anthony is a musical genius 🙌 Favorite track: Love Is Like A Simile.
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1.
I Complain 02:44
ooh woo ooh ooh i wake up in the morning i make a cup of coffee that’s way too strong i complain about the weather i complain about whatever the hell i want i get up early just to seize the day i seize the day with constant complaining ooh woo ooh ooh i hate being a starving artist but i don’t wanna get a real job they’re such a drag and i hate going to parties cause all my friends are morons i hate their guts i love complaining when things do not go my way but i’ll still complain when everything is a-okay ooh woo ooh ooh i complain about everything i complain about complaining oh my god nothing makes me happy like complaining does i wish that i was happier it sucks that i can’t complain even more ooh woo ooh ooh
2.
i don’t think i’m going out tonight oh no something else came up and it took me by surprise i’m gonna cancel all my plans this is goodbye oh yeah something tells me it’s gonna be a while i’ve got a cat i’ve got a cat on my lap i’m losing track of time but i think it’s been a week and now the feeling in my legs is a distant memory i can not move i can not eat i can only sleep oh no my cat is in control and my future’s looking bleak i’ve got a cat i’ve got a cat on my lap oh no! why are you here? i can’t move i’m frozen with fear i’ve got a cat i’ve got a cat on my lap
3.
this is art rock this is art this is art rock this is art this is art rock this is art this is art rock and this is a fart is this new wave or no wave? who’s to say? is it grunge? is it shoegaze? is it cliche? is this new wave or no wave? who’s to say? either way but would i listen to it? no way this is art rock this is art is this art rock? is this art? is this art rock? is this art is the song over? when does it start? is this new wave or no wave? who’s to say? is it grunge? is it shoegaze? is it cliche? is this new wave or no wave? who’s to say? either way but would i listen to it? no way
4.
i spent the whole day trying to send a text message to you i dialed all the numbers right but it still did not go through maybe you were not at home cause the only thing that i did wrong was i used a rotary phone should i not have done that? i guess you can’t do that i watch silent films with closed captions on i take sleeping pills at the crack of dawn am i doing this wrong? i spent the whole entire day trying to send an email to you i typed your email address just right queefmaster69 at yahoo maybe it was marked as spam or maybe you don’t give a damn that the keys on my typewriter got jammed now i need a repairman a typewriter repairman do they still have those? i guess i’ll look in the phone book i watch silent films with closed captions on i take sleeping pills at the crack of dawn am i doing this wrong? oh no, i think i’m doing this wrong? i tried to have a conversation in real life… but i can’t do it how the hell do you do that? i never wanna do it please don’t put me through that
5.
(belch) indigestion upset stomach heartburn gerd indigestion (belch)
6.
i have been told that i need a lobotomy but that don’t stop you from ever loving me you complete me without you i am empty i’m such a jerk that’s why i don’t have any friends so what’s wrong with you? are you sniffing glue? i’m in love with you but why the hell do you love me too? i’m the worst and somehow that makes you much worse your doctor seems to think you need psycho therapy but i don’t care what they say i love your negativity you’re always right i know because you always tell me we both love dogs more than we like human beings what’s wrong with me and you? are we sniffing glue? i’m in love with you and somehow you love me too we’re the worst and that is why our relationship works
7.
i’ve got a cat i love her so much, yeah but my cat hates my guts now i thought i’d win her over if i only showed her love and affection but all i got from her was scratch marks on my face and a broken heart from the rejection cause my cat hates me she only loves me when she needs me if i was dead she would eat me if she could i know that she would me and my cat we do so much stuff, yeah she loves to ignore me i like to pretend she adores me and when i get too close she always lets me know it she’s great at communication her claws are tiny swords they slice me and they dice me it serves me right i guess my cat hates me she only loves me when she needs me we get along when she’s sleeping when she’s awake i’m always bleeding my cat hates me so loving her isn’t easy i am allergic so i’m sneezing all through the day and all of the night how the hell did this become my life?
8.
sometimes love is like a simile but nothing else compares so maybe that’s not right on second thought maybe love is a metaphor but no one ever said metaphors are always good sometimes the fruit of love is rotten to the core relationships are all about give and take so you’ve got to give up and just take what you can get they say relationships are a two way street but sometimes it feels more like a five way intersection with broken stop lights love can be the greatest hyperbole it is just the worst your heart has just been cursed and the spell will not be broken until you die relationships are all about give and take so you’ve got to give up and just take what you can get they say relationships are a two way street but sometimes it feels more like a five way intersection with broken stop lights don’t get mad that still makes you the light of my life
9.
gibberish sounds so delicious it always seems so deep with nonsense i’m so prolific even when it has no meaning at all i don’t know what im saying, no in fact nobody does i order the soup of the day in the middle of the night there’s a fly in my soup and there’s a hair in my fly so let them eat cake i know who let the dogs out but their secret is safe at least for now i made a grand entrance for an exit interview and then i refused to leave it’s a race against time being slow and steady makes you fashionably late i can bend over backwards now til i’m all bent out of shape i just bit my tongue again when i choked on the words i ate but that goes without saying you can run around in circles but you cannot reinvent the wheel you can feel how you’ve changed but you can’t change how you feel unless you do drugs a new york minute is just like a regular one except angrier and mean i can bend over backwards now til i’m all bent out of shape i just bit my tongue again when i choked on the words i ate but that goes without saying gibberish sounds so delicious it always seems so deep with nonsense i’m so prolific even when it has no meaning at all i don’t know what im saying, no in fact nobody does
10.
oh hey! look what the cat dragged in after all this time you’re back again looking for a friend your friend doesn’t live here anymore may i interest you in the door? and don’t come back no more do you think i care how you have been? cause i have been holding grudges for longer than we’ve been friends do you think i’m wishing you the best? cause you could be face down in a ditch for all that i care eat shit you are dead to me fuck off respectfully i wasn’t bitter anymore but since you asked blow your bullshit apology out your ass it’s too long overdue does brett know that you’ve come crawling back? i heard you fucked him over too and that’s such good news cause that guy is a motherfucker and i love when my enemies are all out to get each other do you think i’m wishing you the best? cause i have been burning bridges for longer than we’ve been friends shut up when you speak to me eat shit you are dead to me fuck off respectfully
11.

credits

released January 31, 2024

all songs written and performed by anthony kapfer

anthony kapfer - vocals, guitars, bass, drums

produced by anthony kapfer and amber irish

copyright 2024 planet apartment! records

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Anthony Kapfer Los Angeles, California

Los Angeles rock and roll and humor

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