What Am I Doing?

from Cats Using Toilets by Anthony Kapfer

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lyrics

What am I doing?
Oh god, this is crazy
I can not believe I'm even contemplating
Falling in love with anyone
But right now it's like my brain has a mind of its own

I wonder if you're thinking of our future together
Together forever seems like such an adventure
No pressure, but our wedding is next week,
But whatever
What should we name our kids?
Cause we're having thirteen

Marry me
and we'll be eternally enemies

Even though we got married seconds ago
We never go anywhere nice anymore
And I hate the way you sound when you chew your food
Even though we haven't chewed food since we said our vows

The honeymoon hasn't even started yet
But it feels like it's already over
Because ever since we tied the knot, it feels like
It has been tied tightly around my throat

Divorce me please
And let's split our equity
And never speak