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  • Digital Track
    Streaming + Download

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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    These clear seven inch records were individually lathe cut by Meep Records. Each copy has original handmade collage artwork by Anthony Kapfer. There are only 25 copies. The record contains 4 tracks from the album, I Can't Believe It's Not Better.

    Side A
    Let's All Worship Satan
    The Meaning Of Life

    Side 1
    Invisible Stain
    I Want To Kill You In My Dreams

    Fan Club members with a $25 per month subscription receive a copy of this record at no additional cost.

    Includes unlimited streaming of I Can't Believe It's Not Better via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
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  • Record/Vinyl + Digital Album

    Limited edition clear seven inch vinyl record. This one was lathe cut by Funky Frankenstein Records in Nashville Tennessee. 50 copies were made. Subscribers to my fanclub will receive this record with one of a kind original handmade collage art by me.

    This record contains four tracks from the album I Can’t Believe It’s Not Better.
    Side 1
    A Particular Streaming Service Robbed Me Blind
    Solitaire

    Side A
    Nice To Meet You (My Mom Has Cancer)
    Sister

    (The photo is showing the front and back artwork and both sides of the same record)

    Includes unlimited streaming of I Can't Believe It's Not Better via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality download in MP3, FLAC and more.
    ... more
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lyrics

the future is now
no wait
ok now

two weeks from today
i was thinking about time travel

it seems like only yesterday
today was tomorrow

and one day
someday will be today

but i don’t even know what day it is anymore
because recently i was in a discount store
and i saw an irregular time machine

it was slightly imperfect
so the price was marked down
but for a limited time only

i wanted to use my time machine
to try to win the lottery
but since this time machine was defective
i could only travel to the future
one second at a time
so it took me forever to get there

i wasn’t able go back in time
to play the winning lottery numbers
so instead i went to the future
and tried to guess

then i went to a bookie
to place bets against myself
i kept betting that i would lose the lottery
but i guessed the numbers correctly
every single time
i won a fortune
then i lost it all

just my luck

i forgot to check
while i was there but
i hope that in the future
they invent prosthetic upper lips
for people with mustaches
who also want to wear disguises

mustaches are like bangs
for your lips

credits

from I Can't Believe It's Not Better, released June 4, 2021
written and performed by Anthony Kapfer

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Anthony Kapfer Los Angeles, California

Los Angeles rock and roll and humor

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