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my sister gave me
her new phone number the other day
but i’m pretty lazy
so i just keep using the old number instead

the woman who has that number now
is my new sister

and we talk every day

luckily they’re both named stephanie
so i didn’t even have to change
her contact information in my phone

but anyway while i was
on the phone with stephanie
she said that she just started doing yoga
and she feels better than ever
she said i should try doing it too
and i never used to take advice from
my old sister but this time i thought
"new sister, new me"

but when i tried yoga
i pulled a muscle in my back
it was the worst pain i’ve ever felt
in my entire life

so i tried to call my doctor
but the number must have changed
because some guy
answered the phone instead
i said “can you recommend something
for excruciating back pain?”
and he said “i think you have the wrong number”
i said “listen, you’re my new doctor now and i need your help.
what can i do to make my back stop hurting?”
he said
“i don’t know, have you tried doing yoga?”

i was desperate for relief
so i tried it again
and this time the pain went away instantly
it was incredible

so i called my new sister
i said “guess what? i did yoga”
she said “that’s great. how do you feel?”
so i thought about it
and i said
“actually i feel about the same as before”
what a waste of time


from I Can't Believe It's Not Better, released June 4, 2021
written and performed by Anthony Kapfer


all rights reserved



Anthony Kapfer New York, New York

Anthony Kapfer is a musician and comedian. He often performs live as a one man band. His music has been compared to They Might Be Giants mixed with The Pixies & Flight of the Conchords. Anthony spent all of 2019 on a headlining tour across the country.

Anthony Kapfer is the star of the film MUTE DATE, and appears in the films Ramekin, and Shredder, which are all recommended films on Amazon Prime
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