Nice To Meet You (My Mom Has Cancer)

from I Can't Believe It's Not Better by Anthony Kapfer

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i’m bad at meeting people
because i never know the appropriate things
that i should say
when i’m introduced

like, it’s nice to meet you my mom has cancer
why did i just say that?
i do not know the answer, no
anyway, how bout you?

how do you do?
that’s nice, but my mom has cancer
now let’s get some food
i know a place with good reviews

table for two my mom has cancer
a fifteen minute wait is fine
and do you need my name?
i’m the one whose mom has cancer

i’ll have a burger my mom has cancer
i’ll have some fries on the side
a soda water too
and what about you?

she’ll have the burger too
but her mother is a dancer

your astrological sign is cancer
what a coincidence
my mom has
the same birthday as you
and also the other thing

it's our first date
did i mention my mom and her cancer?
what's that?
your friends got engaged?
well my mom is full of cancer
i think it's our last date
because i just can't stand her


from I Can't Believe It's Not Better, released June 4, 2021
written and performed by Anthony Kapfer


all rights reserved



Anthony Kapfer New York, New York

Anthony Kapfer is a musician and comedian. He often performs live as a one man band. His music has been compared to They Might Be Giants mixed with The Pixies & Flight of the Conchords. Anthony spent all of 2019 on a headlining tour across the country.

Anthony Kapfer is the star of the film MUTE DATE, and appears in the films Ramekin, and Shredder, which are all recommended films on Amazon Prime
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