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Love At First Sight

from Cats Using Toilets by Anthony Kapfer

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There is none greater in
the world than true love
True love is true and it fits
like a glove. It's honest
and deep, perhaps sent
from above. True love is
more pure than the whitest
white dove. I knew it when
I first laid eyes on she
Me in a coffee shop
ordering tea. She, the
barista so full of glee
Her name tag said,
"Hello my name is Bree."
"What would you like,"
she asked, looking ahead
I said, "Your hand in
marriage with you I thee
wed, but if you decline
which I must say I dread
I'll have a green tea in a
small cup instead."
Bree looked displeased
and she gave me a sneer. I
stepped aside, trying to
disappear "It was not
meant to be," I said, inside
my head. Well my proposal is
denied, and she wishes me dead
I sat with my tea and then what did I see? The most
beautiful woman I had seen, since Bree. She was
drinking her coffee, as black as the night. As black as
my heart felt since Bree and my fight. I wonder if her
name is pretty as she. I wonder if her name might
somehow be Bree. For I already had a tattoo on my
chest. It said, "Bree 4ever," but now I'm bereft. So if
she's named Bree, that would be most convenient for me
Well I sat down beside her and too my dismay she
looked unhappy, as if trying to say, "Hey okay, I must
convey that you can not stay with me in this cafe
Nay! I say, I won't betray. I have a fiancé and he's on
his way." Then in walked a man with a funny toupee.
Mr. Fiancé, his name was Ray. I knew that my
welcome had been overstayed. He asked me to leave or
hell I would pay. With no delay he gave me a punch,
and I spilled all my tea on his lady's lunch. I quickly
obeyed and I stood and I said, "I'll be on my way, and
good day," to the bunch. I left with a slink, and I cried
cause I knew it was not meant to be with girl number
two. No one, not me, not a god could foresee that I was
about to meet girl number three. I opened the door to
make a quick leave and an angel appeared and I felt so
relieved. I held the door open for her to walk in and
then I proposed, "Oh where have you been? All of my
life I've waited for thee and I finally found you, now
please marry me." Without even stopping, she said,
"Please concede. Please do not beg and please do not
plead," and then my heart sunk as I looked at her go.
I could not believe my success was so low. She was the
latest, the third in a row, but when feelings of woe come
I go with the flow. I walked to the bus stop and when it was there. I stepped up the steps but I had not the fare. I had
only one half of the regular price but the driver was pretty
and witty and nice. She said, "You can step in, honey that
will suffice." And I thanked her and said, "Now I'll be precise
I want you to know that I've known from the start that you
drive the bus, the one in my heart," and then she gave me a
look and then yelled, "Take a seat!" and I did as she asked
and admitted defeat. The ride it was long and I felt
incomplete. I was beat, I repeat, so I made my retreat. When
I got home I felt quite depressed. So I sat and I thought
while I took a long rest. I thought it best to sit back and asses
where I went wrong it was anyone's guess. Obsessed and
distressed I've become on my quest and my poor little heart
it was put to the test. So lest, I attest to invest in such zest
I turned to a pest, when my love I professed. And so I digress
none the less, from this stress. They say love is the best, so
I feel no regrets. I am blessed more this mess, I am blessed
to excess and I already can't wait to see who I'll meet next
My question to you, "Do you think that it's strange finding
true love in this day and age?"I seem to find love fifty times in
a day. I'm a romantic. What can I say?


from Cats Using Toilets, released March 3, 2020
Anthony Kapfer - vocals, guitars, bass, drums
Merle - barking


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Anthony Kapfer New York, New York

Anthony Kapfer is a musician and comedian. He often performs live as a one man band. His music has been compared to They Might Be Giants mixed with The Pixies & Flight of the Conchords. Anthony spent all of 2019 on a headlining tour across the country.

Anthony Kapfer is the star of the film MUTE DATE, and appears in the films Ramekin, and Shredder, which are all recommended films on Amazon Prime
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