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i drank so much coffee today
that technically i am on cocaine

i have multiple personalities
but they are all exactly the same

my psychic friend has
short term memory loss
so she remembers tomorrow
like it was today

yesterday i spilled mustard on
my mustard colored jeans
and today there’s an invisible stain

oh no oh no oh no
where’d it go oh no
the stain appeared without a trace

and that’ll never come out

i know a couple of conjoined twins
but i’m starting to think
that they might be the same person
because i’ve never even seen them in
the same room together
who the hell do they think they’re fooling?

i'm onto you

i can eat whatever i want
the calories don’t count
as long as i wear a disguise

everybody has a birthday coming up
as long as they do not die

the revolution will be televised
in fact you probably missed it
because it wasn’t really advertised

i am a pessimistic narcissist
i always feel empty
but i’m full of myself half the time

i know i know
i don’t know
oh no i don’t
i am perfect but not every time

oh i thought the song was done
i am perfect but not every time


from Invisible Stain (E​.​P​.​), released March 5, 2021
anthony kapfer - vocals, guitars, bass, drums


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Anthony Kapfer New York, New York

Anthony Kapfer is a musician and comedian. He often performs live as a one man band. His music has been compared to They Might Be Giants mixed with The Pixies & Flight of the Conchords. Anthony spent all of 2019 on a headlining tour across the country.

Anthony Kapfer is the star of the film MUTE DATE, and appears in the films Ramekin, and Shredder, which are all recommended films on Amazon Prime
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