Invisible Stain (E​.​P​.​)

by Anthony Kapfer

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jenrose72 The sound rocks, and the lyrics are spot on. Favorite track: I Want To Kill You In My Dreams.
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1.
i drank so much coffee today that technically i am on cocaine i have multiple personalities but they are all exactly the same my psychic friend has short term memory loss so she remembers tomorrow like it was today yesterday i spilled mustard on my mustard colored jeans and today there’s an invisible stain oh no oh no oh no where’d it go oh no the stain appeared without a trace and that’ll never come out i know a couple of conjoined twins but i’m starting to think that they might be the same person because i’ve never even seen them in the same room together who the hell do they think they’re fooling? i'm onto you i can eat whatever i want the calories don’t count as long as i wear a disguise everybody has a birthday coming up as long as they do not die the revolution will be televised in fact you probably missed it because it wasn’t really advertised i am a pessimistic narcissist i always feel empty but i’m full of myself half the time i know i know i don’t know oh no i don’t i am perfect but not every time oh i thought the song was done i am perfect but not every time
2.
what would you say if i asked you a rhetorical question hypothetically? and what is the meaning of life? tell me “yes or no” that was a trick question or was it? i don’t know i don’t have all the answers now how could i when i don’t even have all the questions? ironically i complain that i do not get sarcasm isn’t that just great? i wanna be a positive person but that seems so unlikely sometimes i think my mind is playing tricks on me therefore i’m always right people say that happiness is a choice but i can never make up my mind and i know i’m getting older cause now i’m old enough to remember being younger and now i reminisce about nostalgia cause it used to be better what if the good old days never happened and we just don’t remember? the future is running late this trip down memory lane is taking us forever i always hear people say money can’t buy happiness but what if i paid them off? maybe then they’d finally shut up about it and nothing would make me happier don’t bother to explain cause it’ll just go in one ear and right out the other i don’t know anything but i think therefore i am or well at least i think so i am so totally vain i probably think this song is about me even though it’s vague but enough about carly simon let’s talk about me
3.
Solitaire 04:59
the other night i was playing solitaire with six of my best friends we were talking about how weird it is that there's no "i" in "team" but the word "solitaire" has two "i"s in it and then everyone went home so i started having a conversation with myself in the third person but i got angry because i thought i was being pretty self centered so i started arguing with myself in the first person i said, "it's always, 'me, me, me.' but what about what i want?" earlier today i was daydreaming about taking a nap because last night i had a dream that i was really exhausted so as soon as i woke up i went straight to bed i was watching a news report that said television influences people's behavior so as soon as i saw that i turned my tv right off then i set it on fire and i threw it out the window and i thought to myself "nice try. you're not going to get me" i met a woman with a lower back tattoo of an elderly woman with a lower back tattoo it just said "regret" i mean, that's what she told me it said it was written in chinese characters so i just took her word for it we dated for a while she gave me the key to her heart but then she changed the locks i think it was because i didn't understand metaphors at least that's what the locksmith told me i wish it would have worked out because her love was like a simile
4.
i want you to die but only figuratively not literally cause you’re just dead to me i want to kill you in my dreams i sleep so soundly to your bloody screams i hope you stay alive in reality but you’re so dead inside my fantasies i am a pacifist which means I passively exist but when I lose consciousness i rule with an iron fist i want to murder you to death in my dreams i sleep so you’ll be blown to smithereens i wish you nothing but the best in reality but you see you’ll die a thousand deaths in all of my dreams in my fantasies i'm busting up both your knees

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released March 5, 2021

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Anthony Kapfer New York, New York

Anthony Kapfer is a musician and comedian. He often performs live as a one man band. His music has been compared to They Might Be Giants mixed with The Pixies & Flight of the Conchords. Anthony spent all of 2019 on a headlining tour across the country.

Anthony Kapfer is the star of the film MUTE DATE, and appears in the films Ramekin, and Shredder, which are all recommended films on Amazon Prime
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